Jeanie's little brother
by Fantasy101
Summary: Rodney fell in love with John when he was 11 years old. 10 years later Rodney (now 22 years old) confesses that he still loves John but can John see Rodney as anything more than 'Jeanie's little brother?


Title: Jeanie's little brother.

Author: Fantasy101

Song: "Say Something" by 'A Great Big World' and 'Christina Aguilera'. I suggest you 'Youtube' this video.

Summary: Rodney feel in love with John when he was 11 years old. 10 years later Rodney confesses that he still loves John but can John see Rodney as anything more than 'Jeanie's little brother'?

Rodney's hands pressed gently on the piano his foot moving up and down, I could hear immediately that he did indeed possess the skill to play the piano. Then after a moment he began to sing softly.

"Say something, I'm giving up on you." I could not suppress the gasp that escaped my lips listening to his voice.

It was beautiful.

"I'll be the one, if you want me to." I could not take my eyes of this 22 year old prodigy. I new Jeannie had stated that Rodney was great in many areas of this life. But this….

I paused because words escaped me. No word could truly describe the beauty that sat before me.

"Anywhere, I would've followed you." A pause in his singing as his hands floated over the keys. Then his voice began to get a little louder, "Say something, I'm giving up on you."

"And I" Teyla's voice came in now, in perfect harmony with Rodney's. Rodney at first was a little startled by Teyla's impulse to begin singing with him. But by the time they had finished the sentence Rodney was smiling, "am feeling so small". 

Teyla smiled back and then after a moment they continued their duet.

"It was over my head  
I know nothing at all"

"And I" The piano became harsher just for a moment, "Will stumble and fall." They continued singing together as if they had sang their whole lives together. As if the song truly meant something to them. I swallowed loudly watching the emotions cross Rodney's face. After a moment I realised he had turned to look at me but he did not look away as he continued singing. 

"I'm still learning to love, just starting to crawl".

Then with a small smile his head turned to look down at the piano once again. But my body was frozen, my mind stuck on that moment. Rodney's eyes, Rodney's words, Rodney's breath, Rodney's lips. My heart burnt and my stomach twisted. My hand twitched wanting to reach out and pull Rodney into my arms. I had never felt anything like this before, and it was a feeling I did not think I would ever be able to find again in another.

"Say something, I'm giving up on you."

"I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you."

Rodney's hands danced across the piano with such grace that I had never seen Rodney posses before. 

"Anywhere, I would've followed you," Rodney glanced at me as he said the word, 'you', "Say something, I'm giving up on you"

"And I will swallow my pride, you're the one that I love." Rodney looked up at me as he sang this and my breath hitched and I felt my hands begin to shack. I balled my hands stopping them from shacking. 

"And I'm saying goodbye" I was not sure any more if the song he was singing was for the group or for me. I felt he was singing for me, he had picked this song. I knew it was Elizabeth that had asked him to play while they waited for dinner but as he looked into my eyes I knew there was something more. Did he love me? Was he giving up on that love? Did he want me to speak up? But I did not know how I felt about Rodney.

"Say something, I'm giving up on you and I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you." But the thought of never seeing Rodney again makes my blood run cold. "And anywhere, I would've followed you."

"Oooh –Oooh" They both sang out placing their emotions into each syllabub.

"Say something, I'm giving up on you" They sang softly together.

"Say something" Then softly sang the last words before Rodney played the final few notes. Rodney looked up from where he sate and glanced up at myself but just for a moment before people started gathering around the two performer's. I was not sure what he saw in my eyes but I knew I saw uncertainty in his.

After dinner I found Rodney sitting outside on the back porch just looking out towards the lake. I sat down next to him before turning to face him. He refused to look at me. "Rodney." I finally stated after a few moments of silence.

"Yes." Rodney replied but still did not look at me.

"Do you love me?" I asked far blunter then I had intended this conversation to start. Rodney flinched turning his face to look further away from me. "Because that song…"

"I just played a nice song that I new." Rodney snapped, "It had nothing to do with you." I sighed, knowing that we both knew he was lying.

I studied his face for a moment. Rodney and I had known each other since high school. However, until that song Rodney had always been Jeanie's prodigy little brother who happened to be in the same grade. Rodney now 22 years of age working for the university and consulting for the government and I now 27 years of age still in the air force; and yes still good friends with the people I went to high school with. Elizabeth, Samantha, Ronon, Teyla, Carson, Aiden, Jennifer and Jeannie. All of us now 27 years old and still living in this small little town. I had stayed in contact with each and every one of them despite having joined the air force. I even stayed in contact with Rodney McKay, Jeannie's baby brother. Rodney had been in many of the same classes as myself and many times we had to work together for group projects. I enjoyed Rodney's company but he had never been anything more to me then 'Jeannie's little brother'.

"I was 11 years old," I looked over at Rodney who was speaking, "When I joined the senior's in year 11." I had remembered that day. It was a shock to see this short 11 year old standing at the front of the class room with his arms hugging his books closely to his chest. The boy looked familiar but at first I had trouble remembering from where. It was not until lunch that day when Jeannie stated that her baby brother was a prodigy and would be studying with them from this point onward. "I was nerves, scared and arrogant. But because I was so young I had trouble fitting in with everyone. Many of the boys use to pick on me, until one day I was saved."

I remembered that day as well. It had been a few weeks after Rodney had started and since we had a few classes together we use to chat. It was sweet how happy he would get when I sat next to him. It was not until that sunny afternoon that I found out it was because I was the only person that would speak to him (other than his sister). Some of the teenagers ignored him, some belittled him (which was easy when Rodney did not seem to understand that they were picking on him) but it was the few that where hurting him that made things all the worse.

That afternoon I had left football practice with Ronon to see three tall males surrounding a small child. As we got closer I could hear them yelling and screaming horrible things towards him. Before we got to close however, one shoved him until he fell to the ground. Another went to kick him. However, before he could I was there, Ronon by my side as we took them out. They quickly retreaded, I cannot recall their names but I could recall the look on Rodney's face. He was happy, relieved and for the first time since I had known him he thanked me. I had helpped him up and took him home. After that incident he began hanging out with our little group.

To be honest it was nice. Rodney and Jeannie fighting, Ronon teasing Rodney, Tayler yelling at Ronon to leave Rodney alone, Elizabeth just laughing at the commotion. I would remember those days forever. But still Rodney was no more to me then 'Jeanie's little brother'.

"After that day things changed. I never got picked on again and I was forever thankful to the two idiots that saved me." I smiled. "But as the year went on I began to realise that I had a crush on one of the individuals that had saved me. It grew more and more but I knew I was only 11 and he would never see me as anything but 'Jeanie's little brother'. He even told me that once" I flinched as he stated this, I had not recalled telling him this, "It was the night of our graduation. He was pretty drunk and I wanted to tell him how I felt but then he had told me _that_. I knew I had to wait to tell him, wait until I was older, and wait until he could see me as more than a little kid. I stayed in contact over the years, sending letters and emails. But still my feelings never wavered. I just continued to work hard for him to notice me" Rodney took a breath, "To notice that I am no longer a little kid and that I love him more than Science!" Rodney finally turned to look at me unshed tears in his eyes. "I have loved you John Sheppard since I was 11 years old. But I can't do it anymore." He swallowed hard, "I need to know if there could ever be an 'us' and if not to tell me so I can move on" With a shacking breath he finished with, "please."

I just stared for a moment.

He loved me? I knew that he had a crush on me in high school, Jeannie had told me. It was cute when he got jealous when I went on dates and that he would do things for me without needing to be asked. I liked that he had liked me, I had thought it was sweet. I never told him that I never felt the same, in fact more than once I had probably lead him on. But I never knew it was love, and I certainly never thought he would still have such strong feelings for me after all these years. I felt guilty for a moment but then realised that Rodney was still waiting on an answer.

Did I love Rodney?

Could I love Rodney?

The simple answer was yes. I think I could love him. I liked him a lot now and after that song well I knew I was developing feelings I had never felt before, for anyone.

"Rodney, I don't love you." Rodney's face was crushed. He stood up quickly, "Right of course not. Thank you for telling m-" I stood pulling him into a kiss. It was just a simple kiss on the lips but it was forceful.

Rodney pulled away, "Don't play with my emotions!" He was clearly very angry.

"Let me finish McKay!" I shot back. Rodney stopped trying to pull away from my arms which had somehow wrapped around his waist. "I don't love you yet. I like you and I think I could really like you." Rodney looked up at me with hope in his eyes and I smiled, "I feel I could maybe one day love you. But you have to give me time, feelings don't change overnight."

"Maybe we could date?" Rodney questioned a small smile pulling at his lips. "Take our time to get to know each other all over again, as adults."

"I think that sounds perfect Rodney." My smile grew wider before I lead down and kissed Rodney on the check knowing in that moment I would never again see Rodney as simply 'Jeanie's little brother'.

The End


End file.
